KATHLEEN TONG'S Timeline:
Age 9 mos: Born later than my mother's obstetrician's estimated due date by two weeks. I was burnt but still had good flava.
Age 5: Had yellow cupcakes at school for classmate Byun Cho's birthday. They were yellow cake with yellow frosting because he liked Big Bird.
Age 10: Had cupcakes at 10th birthday party. Got a card from Alex Chang, "Seng il chook hwa hap nee da."
Age 12: First kiss. Jin Young, quirky Korean boy who sat next to me in homeroom. He kissed me behind the video store.
Age 12: Kicked first boy in the gonads. Tae kwon do class, Charles Kim, he kicked me first...and I liked it.
Age 18: Graduated from high school.
Age 20: Met Dave Lee, quirky Korean college boy at UCLA.
Age 22: Moved in with David J. Lee, same boy but now acting and using a middle initial.
Age 22-27: Did not have sex with the incredibly talented and extremely engaging aspiring actor David J. Lee despite repeated attempts. Convinced myself he was gay.
Age 28: Davey Poo moves out. Fell into deep depression and quickly started experimenting with Chinese boys.